By: Shawn Phillips
Every day I meet women who are fed up with one or more aspects of their lives. They feel they are just going through the motions and have lost the dreams and passion they had when they were younger. It’s no wonder. We frequently put our well-being at the bottom of the priority list. Women are natural nurturers. We take care of our families, friends, co-workers, animals, and even strangers. Unfortunately we frequently forget to take care of ourselves. We owe it to ourselves and others to take care of our physical, emotional and spiritual portions of our lives. One cannot get refreshing, clear water from a dry well.
Who am I? I am a change agent. My mission statement is simple – to be healthy, happy, and help others. I consider myself an Entrepreneurial Expert. I work with members of my team gain optimal health, accept and embrace their destiny and create financial freedom. I intentionally chose a company that offered people various divisions so that regardless of a person’s passion, we probably have something they would be interested in. Every day I help women transform their lives.
The wondrous thing about humans is our resilience and ability to alter our lives. My winding path to discovery and change has happened throughout my 62 years. At times it seemed like my very existence was a snow globe that was shaken. Large pieces of my life were free floating only to land in a very different spot with the snow settled. Sometimes fate (divorce, job layoff, major health issue) shook that snow globe and other times I did so myself. Whatever the cause I’ve always done more than survived, I’ve thrived. Approximately a year ago I was the instigator. From an outsider’s perspective I had it made. I was a hospital administrator with a six figure income, a long term and loving marriage, three amazing sons, lived in a home that was way too big for a couple of empty nesters, took exotic vacations, and was blessed with amazing friends. The only signs that perhaps not all was well was that I was taking a handful of prescriptions each day, didn’t sleep well, and had deep stress lines. Sure I still had a sense of humor and I think most people would have been surprised to know how miserable I truly was. I knew I was just marking time. I was grateful for what I had but wondered if there wasn’t more to life. I felt trapped. I had physical and mental pain.
I was very grateful for my blessings but it was time to modify two major areas needing modification – my physical state and my work life. I started a new business. I started taking supplements. I exercised more. I ate better. Six months after starting my new business I resigned from my position, sold my house and built a smaller one in a more affordable area. I am a work in progress but today I am able to live a life almost prescription free.
My body no longer feels like a traitor. I have energy, enthusiasm and I rise each morning refreshed and ready to face the day with passion and excitement. I no longer have the prestigious and high paying job but I have created a business with partners in several states and in another country. I teach almost every week. I meet new people and am constantly amazed at the courage, commitment and exuberance inherent in entrepreneurs. I love what I do so much that I dream about it. Furthermore while I haven’t yet replaced my salary, I’m certainly on my way to do so. By all accounts have made amazing progress during my first year in business.
But this isn’t about me. If I can transform my life at an age when many are considering retirement, so can you! It doesn’t matter your age, your past, your educational level, or whatever impediment you believe you have to achieving a successful life. You don’t have to settle for mediocracy. You were meant for better. So are you ready to demand an excellent life? Are you ready to alter your path? At the end of the day financial freedom, good physical, emotional and spiritual health are ideal and should be available to everyone.
I think most of us agree that we are here to fulfill a basic purpose – to make the world better for having been here. We all had dreams of making an impact with our lives. But somewhere along the line for someone else’s success, not taking care of our bodies, and feeling frustration with our existence. Does this resonate with you? Ready for a change? Let’s do it!
Let’s start with the physical. Who doesn’t want a vibrant, healthy, strong body? Who wouldn’t like to feel younger and ward off illness? There are a number of contributing factors that lead us to not having optimal health. I am sure you already are aware that we are surrounded by far more pollutants and toxins than previous generations. At the same time our fruits and vegetables contain 50% less vitamins and nutrients that they did even a mere 20 years ago. This is creating a perfect storm as this generation is facing the largest amount of oxidative stress this planet has ever known and we have less ability to defend ourselves. This gap in our protection is due to a variety of influences including a reduction in exercise, an increase in eating processed foods, not getting enough sleep, and the depletion of antioxidants and supporting nutrients contained in the foods we eat. While we are living longer, we are facing a higher percentage of debilitating chronic diseases such as heart disease, diabetes, cancer, and stroke. Many face problems associated with inflammation such as arthritis, lupus, and fibromyalgia. Approximately 75% are taking vitamins and supplements but are unaware the minimal daily requirement of vitamins and minerals is only enough to avoid diseases such as scurvy and rickets. Furthermore they are not absorbing the very nutrients they assume these pills are providing. With some minor changes we can turn all this around. Over the past year I’ve learned that wellness is more than the absence of disease. We want to feel our best.
I urge you to have a good strategy to achieve and maintain good health, to understand the impact of lifestyle on wellness, and to consider simple nutrient based solutions. While I advocate more exercise, less stress, and better eating habits, I realize this isn’t enough. In order to obtain optimal health, women need to take a good multivitamin as the foundation for health, as well as Omega 3’s, a B complex, a calcium complex and a strong antioxidant. I consider these to be the daily essentials. You would be surprised how much more energy you have, how great you look (beauty starts from within), how much stronger your immune system is, and how much better you sleep when you take these essentials. Consistency is key. You need to take them every day. One upside is that many women report they have lost weight. Once the body gets the nutrients needed, this signals the brain that the cells have what is needed and they can quit eating. Little steps taken over a period of time can lead to amazing results.
Next in line for transformation are our financial/emotional/spiritual sides. How many times to you find yourself surrounded by negative, unhappy people at work? Most people go to their job and do as little as possible for a boss who pays them as little as they can get away with. What kind of life is that? We spend more time at work than we do with our loved ones. Now I’m not advocating that everyone fire their boss tomorrow. What I am suggesting is that you might consider a plan B. We need options in case we get laid off, a relationship ends, or something else happens. Other women feel trapped in a relationship that may even be abusive as they fear the “feminization of poverty”. They are sacrificing their joy for security. Others tell me they just feel tired of everything. They have given up on the quest to fulfill their dreams and are just going through the motions of life. The good and bad news is this: You are going to have to be the alchemist creating a golden life. Only you can achieve this. You can’t depend on or blame others. But that gives you the power! One of the quickest ways to tell who your real friends are is to decide to make a change. True friends will cheer you on.
There is a great quote by Napoleon Hill, “Anything the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” You need to spend some time soul searching. What has your mind conceived? What do you believe? Do you really want to achieve it? First you must take responsibility for your own life. Move beyond fear. Move beyond guilt. Move beyond the little voice that tells you that you aren’t good enough, smart enough, pretty enough. You are enough! No one else is responsible for your happiness. We all live the lives we choose. The moment you realize this, you have the ability to recreate your life. You are no longer the victim – you become the victor.
I work with women who know they are not living up to their full potential and something must change. If they have the motivation, it can be done. I firmly believe in the power of positive attraction and that “like attracts like”. Together we work to concentrate on and enhance the unique qualities inherent in that individual and to focus on being upbeat and positive. Perhaps you have heard that every moment we dwell on the past is a second in the present you are missing. We can’t change what happened. We can only realize that the future awaits. By focusing on incremental changes we can make every day, we can make strides to a beautiful future that awaits. This helps the woman to gradually take charge of her own life and to evolve into a self-confident and fulfilled person. I am not saying it is easy. It takes a spark of self-love to initiate change. But suddenly the woman becomes the heroine in her life. Suddenly people are looking up to her and she becomes a leader. Sometimes the only way we can do it is to use someone else as the focus. Recently a woman told me she realized she had to change so that her daughter would not accept less than she deserved in her own future. Whatever the impetus, I think there are some basic elements of transformation.
It all starts with an honest assessment of who you are. What is your passion? What do you feel are your attributes? What are you drawn to? What excites you? Start there. Learn from the leaders in that area. Commit to your education and motivation. It is also important for a woman to have a network to support her efforts and to applaud her successes. However as important as a network is, it is crucial for the individual to realize others can’t want it for her more than she wants it for herself. Women who are serious about transformation must be willing to challenge themselves, and to not accept less than a rewarding and meaningful life. No one can live your life for you. This is your spiritual quest.
Most importantly we have to have fun. Work doesn’t have to be drudgery. Life is meant to be enjoyed. We need to be able to laugh and take risks. We need to be able to delight in life’s absurdity and in our own mistakes. No regrets. We learn by doing. Dynamic change happens when we accept joy. The best times are when we are able to step outside of the “should be’s” and recapture that childlike exuberance and creativity that is a birthright. An individual’s progress from being in a rut to feeling meaningful varies. Some make rapid changes and others take a more methodical approach. Not everyone is willing to shake their snow globe vigorously. What is predictable is that at some point the magic happens. As a woman builds upon her successes, challenges herself to fulfill her destiny, becomes financially independent, and is happier with her life she then draws people and situations that are life-affirming. There is nothing more attractive than someone who has a passion for something, is positive, and seeks to better themselves. While misery loves company from other miserable people, joyful people are beacons to others who love life.
I urge you to take this New Year, this time of beginning afresh to transform your life into the one you choose. Take some time as the days grow shorter and the darkness returns to go within and discover what inspires you, what you want to transform. As I recently remarked to a 40 year old woman, there is no reason for the past 40 years to determine what the next 40 years will be like. You have the power to create the life you choose. Your dream life is just beyond your fear.
I close by sharing one of my favorite quotes:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. You’re playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~ Marianne Williamson