By: PurpleBarbi
Letting go of anything is hard to do—especially if you really, really, really want it—and I think that’s the worst part, finding out what you want doesn’t want you. But in that discovery there is a freedom that we fail to acknowledge. The Freedom Experience, it is a moment of clarity, that ah-ha moment that Oprah talks about (love her), that silence when your world is ending in one fell swoop. In that moment is where you get your freedom. That’s where you let go and realize that without that person, without that last drink, without that needle, without that last piece of chocolate cake (because there is always a last piece of cake) that Armageddon is not going to take place. What happens? Another day and then another and so on. When you don’t let go of something or someone, you create a mental hell for yourself. Hell? Yes, and not only do you create it for yourself, but you also create it for anyone within arm’s length of you as well. Your children, family, friends. And what is said hell? Hell is repetition (according to Stephen King), and you will continue to experience it until you realize that the ’70s are no more. No more bell bottoms, Afros or 8-tracks. He no longer wants you, she no longer loves you and, no, you can no longer fit into that size 8! For some it may take a few days, for some months and unfortunately for those I really want to reach, it may take years to release what is keeping you caged. I speak from experience because I was one of those “years” person—12 years actually. Yes, 12 damned years! It wasn’t over a specific person, though I feel he was the root of my evil. It wasn’t a family or church member or coworker, though I blamed them for my demise. It was me, yes, all me. The purple one. I was the creator, guard and warden over the hell I was in. Without realizing it I had taken my eyes of my life and all who dwelled in it and became focused on what I perceived was the worst day of my life. That thing I focused on became my life, my lover and friends. It consumed me. Instead of accepting whatever had happened <had> happened and could not be undone and just move on, I dwelled in that place. I took what could have been freedom for me and turned it into despair, depression and poor health. The moment that I prayed for, the answer I cried about, presented itself in a split second. I chose wrong. Instead of choosing that all-expense-paid trip for one to renewed sanity and peace, I chose the latter.
Don’t make the same mistake. If you’re at a crossroads in your life ask why. If it’s over a relationship or a friendship let it go. Anything or anyone you encounter should not become a decision. If it was meant for you, you will not have to fight for it. You would not have to beg for that commitment. It will present itself to you with a big red ribbon on top. You are given this moment in time…you. Will you waste another day worrying about the actions of someone else? Will you waste another day crying over what has already past? Trust me: The past cannot be repeated. It can only be dwelled in, and when you dwell in regret over whatever situation has happened, you are the only one in there. Whoever and whatever is long gone, and it’s you stuck in 1974 when the rest of the world has moved on. (Does this sound familiar, Ms. Havisham?) Only you can free yourself. Let it go, stop thinking about, stop rehearsing the thing that took you of your life’s course. You have the choice to experience freedom. In those few seconds of clarity when you know it’s over (and you know when it’s over), walk through that door. Now it’s hard—trust me, as I said it took me 12 years to let go—but once you do, baby you gonna dance! There are so many things in store for you in this life, which is why you wake up every morning when others don’t. YOU are chosen to LIVE this day, not die to it. Stop giving up your time on this earth to nurse wounds that you are not allowing to heal. When I came out of my hell, I looked around and realized that clothes had gone out of style, the computer age had come along with a ferocious roar and there I was trapped in my own personal hell. Think of all the things that could’ve be done, all the places I could’ve traveled to, all the people I should have met, laughed with, loved. Just think about it. Now let go. Let go of that monster you’ve become and get to know the real you. Get to know how wonderful, beautiful, awesome, talented, smart, witty, funny (yes, even though you mess up the punchline) sexy you are because YOU are. You have been given this time on earth to live life. This time has been carved out just for you. Don’t waste another day. This is your wake-up call.
P.S. I love you.
PurpleBarbi, a military brat, was born in Germany and raised around the world. She now calls South Carolina home. She is a little eccentric, introverted, outgoing, and neurotic along with many other wonderful things. Barbi has been writing since elementary school, creating her own stories. The Vagina Series are her first published works. By no means a sex book but intimate all the same, The Vagina Series is about a woman who is unable to recover from an unexpected break up, who is trapped in a state of mind and cannot break free and has unexpectedly shut herself off from everyone and everything in an attempt to protect herself from hurt. Using the most intimate part of a woman Barbi utilizes it in her story as she believes it is ultimately the pathway to the heart and soul of a woman. How the character uses it and allows another to use it will determine her state of mind and whomever reads it will be able to relate to the issues the character goes. For more information visit: www.thisisyourvagina.com