By: C. Michelle Bryant
the strangest thing has happened.
a strange woman has moved into my house.
and i dont even know who she is, or where she’s from,
let alone how she got a key to get in.
all i know is i definitely did NOT invite her…
and all of the sudden here she is pestering mi.
oh, she’s very smart, this one.
i never see her for the most part
except when i pass a mirror -then i might catch a glimpse of her.
or when i look directly in a mirror,
she’s there taking up the whole thing- so selfishly,
(i mean have you ever heard about “sharing”?- c’mon)
it really makes mi mad!
i’ve tried yelling at her but she just mocks mi
and plays that stupid repeat what i say game – i hate that!
she’s really getting on my nerves.
you’d think she could use some moisturizer-she needs it!
and i think she takes money too- it seems to go so fast around here.
but money isn’t the only thing she takes- food..
it seems to disappear as fast as i can keep it.
i mean i have two teenagers but she seems to eat it faster than they do.
i can’t seem to keep anything in the house. especially chocolate brownie
ice cream.
she should watch it- i think she’s putting on a few pounds.
and to make it worse, i think she’s messed with my scales
to make mi think i’m gaining weight too. the nerve!!
for a grown woman she sure acts childish!
i think she alters all my clothes when i’m not home
and makes them smaller.
she makes everyday things, like the vacuum, i use around the house
heavier
worse yet, she’s figured out how to follow mi wherever i go
but when i turn around she’s gone- what a brat!
when i go shopping she tries on the exact same outfit
(it looks awful on her) but she still stands right in front of mi
so i cant see how great it looks on mi- OOOOOH! she really gets mi!
she’s trying my patience. i’m a fairly easy- going person
but i’m about at the end of my rope with this one.
if this keeps up i swear i’m going to have to do something drasticput
her in a home or something.
on second thought, maybe i shouldn’t be too hasty.
first i’ll check with the government
and see if i can claim her as a dependent on my taxes.
~ michelle