By: Jo-Ann “Jody” Wilhelm
In 1983, when my son Russell was engaged to be married, he found out his former girlfriend, Tara, was pregnant with his child. Tara almost had an abortion, but my phone call to the clinic at the last minute changed her mind. Russell was totally committed to marrying his fiancée, which put Tara in the position to do what young women “in trouble” at that time in history did. She left town to live in secret at one of the many Florence Crittendon Homes for unwed mothers. When Stephanie was born, Tara and her mother invited me to see her before she was placed for adoption.
Before this emotional time in my life, I had already experienced the lost of my daughter Wendy to encephalitis and I miscarried twice. I was completely devastated when Stephanie was placed for adoption. The grief I experienced can only be described as a death without a funeral, with no flowers, sympathy cards or home visits to console me.
As a grandparent, I was only permitted to write a letter, without any identifiable information in it, to Stephanie for her file at Social Services. When writing my letter to Stephanie, I put clues in it, desperately hoping that one day by some miracle, Stephanie would follow the clues and find me. Over the years, on her birthday, I placed ads in newspapers reading, “Happy Birthday to my granddaughter Stephanie Lynn, born on June 21, 1983 and placed for adoption. I love you wherever you are. Grandma.” I also maintained a mini-photo album with Stephanie’s birthday wishes and photos taken of Stephanie at two-days-old. As time passed, I feared I might die before Stephanie could find me.
Several decades later, on the best day of my life, Stephanie, with her adoptive parents’ blessings, found me by following the clues in her DSS file. I gave Stephanie the mini-photo album telling her, “You were always loved and never forgotten.” Since then, with God’s guidance, I’ve written Where’s Stephanie? as a screenplay and as a book, under the pen name Lenora Livingston. My screenplay version of Where’s Stephanie? has recently been a winner at four film festivals.
I introduced Legislature Bill 3898 giving grandparents the right to sign my state’s Social Services Adoption Reunion Registry. Nationwide some legitimate adoption reunion search groups are:
The department of social service in the state where you were born. The laws vary from state to state.
Florence Crittenton Home Adoption Reunion Registry. At one time there were over two-hundred of these homes for unwed mothers across the nation, plus overseas.
International Soundex Reunion Registry – is American based
American Adoption Congress – AAC -based in Washington, DC
Concerned United birth Parents – CUB – based in Los Angeles
Jo-Ann “Jody” Wilhelm, a graduate of USC, was a middle school teacher while earning a post master’s certification in elementary school guidance counseling from The Citadel. As a counselor she won statewide recognition for developing and implementing a Character Education Word-of-the –Month program, which was adopted by other schools in her state. In her retirement, she has become an author and filmmaker. Her faith filled and uplifting adoption story, Where’s Stephanie?,which is based on a true story, is written under her pen name Lenora Livingston
Jody’s hobbies include growing roses, irises, day lilies and butterfly gardening. She’s a bird lover with an emphasis on Eastern bluebirds and humming birds. To find out more about her and to see photos of the many flowers she cultivates in her garden, please visit her webpage at http://lenoralivingston.com.