By Trina Johnson
Be honest: are you truly happy with your current circumstance, or are you faking it? There is nothing like being honestly happy. When you find true joy, you know it. You are filled with peace, kindness, and tranquility. Unfortunately, many people fake their happiness. They put on a façade, pretending to like activities, or certain people, or certain circumstances when deep down, they would rather be doing something else.
Some faking is fine. It’s often a socially acceptable thing to do. But if you do it too much, you’ll find it harder and harder to get to a place of true happiness.
Martha Beck wrote an amazing book in 2001, Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live. In it, she presents an exercise to help readers discover what experiences in their lives have been incidences of true happiness and which ones were not.
To start, write out a list of 6 or 7 of your happiest memories. Read over your list and choose the one you have the strongest, more vibrant memory of and ask yourself these questions:
- True or False: Just remembering this experience brings a strong surge of happiness.
- True or False: I feel hollow and exhausted when I remember this experience.
- True or False: My muscles relax when I think of this experience.
- True or False: I really don’t associate any deep feelings with this experience.
- True or False: I smile spontaneously when I remember this experience.
- True or False: I get agitated or hyper when I remember this experience.
- True or False: I know this memory will be with me forever and no one can ever take this memory from me
If the odd-number statements are true, then that was an example of when you experienced true happiness. If you answered true to any of the even-numbered statements, then this may have been an instance where you were faking happiness. Go through this exercise with all of the memories you wrote down and see how you fare.
Once you have identified some examples of when you experienced true happiness, go deeper into those memories, and pull out as much detail as you can. Look at where you were, who you were with, what you were doing. These are all part of what truly makes you happy. And once you have identified those things, make sure you are bringing those things or similar into your life as often as you can.
Afterall, life is better when you are truly happy.
Katryna Johnson, J.D., aka Trina, owns Mirelli Entrepreneur Training for Women. Her passion for helping women came from seeing her law clients broken and demoralized after divorce. She helps women build confidence, take responsibility, and launch businesses. She wholeheartedly believes women who help other women succeed will change the world. Find out more at www. MirelliETC.com