By: Carmen Gagnon
Life gave me the opportunity to take a moment and reflect where I was and who I had become. That is a nice way of saying that circumstances put me on my butt. What I saw startled me. What was now no longer exists, and I had to deal with that. All my plans and dreams were not clear anymore. I felt numb and blank. It was a perfect time to create new. The “me” I wanted to be. Not for anyone else. But to be the “me” I had held back and restrained for so long.
What started as a dark moment became my catalyst for breaking out of the cocoon I had hidden within, conforming so as not to upset those around me. As my wings dried and my perspective became clearer, I discovered I needed to develop a relationship I had neglected for quite some time. To discover once again who I was, who I wanted to be. To listen to that voice deep within my heart that started speaking to me and encouraging me to come out and fly.
It required I spend some time talking, sharing, listening, being honest, seeing and feeling myself again. I asked hard questions and pulled out paper and pen and captured my observations. I knew I needed to get to the foundation of who and what I was. The simple things like… I am mother, daughter, friend. I knew I was smart, caring, strong. Go deeper I heard. Is it enough to know I am a mother? Asking, what kind of mother? Did I show up for my kids in the way I wanted, or was there room for change? Was it enough to know I was smart and have education and success or could I apply that knowledge in areas for greatest impact on humanity? Could it be that making a good living was not enough and I could and wanted to have more than financial income but to be in service beyond that checkbook? Now I was getting somewhere. These were the questions that invite change. No attachment to what was, openness to what could be.
Finding me meant I needed to accept myself as I was in this moment with no judgements, no comparisons, no excuses and condemnations. I was perfect and good. I really liked who and what I was. Being Capricorn, we want things better, always striving to improve, looking for perfection and never seeming satisfied can be harsh. It requires finding balance in it all. Humor goes a long way. Laughing at myself and others when we take things so seriously.
In the reflection of the past I had so harshly critiqued myself for the mistakes and errors of everything. The reality was I had done the best I could with where and who I was. And so is everyone else. No one is perfect. We are all learning and growing and doing the best we can. Showing mercy to myself allowed me to show compassion for others at a deeper level. Wow, what a shift. I did not have to be perfect. Just be the best me in the moment I could be.
Hearing my heart voice more clearly was bringing clear perspective on many levels. I could see the lessons I had learned. The how and why I attracted each person, situation and the outcomes. From this vantage point another valuable insight I gained was an understanding of what I was not. That can be as important as knowing what I am. It keeps me from being too hard on myself with comparison to others. Just being true to me and what I am here to experience and not what anyone else thinks is right for me. Priceless!
Forgiving myself for all the pressure I had applied. All the negative talk and condemnation I heaped upon myself. Trying to live up to others’ expectations or making up for mistakes. All released. This is vital in taking the first step to finding your inner goddess. The true part of you. The part you now honor and cherish and protect. She is your future. I am ready to take the next step forward on the path to learning to like/love myself in new ways. The inner goddess, she beckons me deeper. Join me as I share how sweet it is to fall in love with yourself in the next issue!
Carmen Gagnon is a gifted intuitive, energy crystal therapy, life/DNA activation practitioner, teacher, speaker and writer. She serves the community as a co-organizer of The WiseWomen Circle of Charleston, a meet up group of 700 women strong, and recently started the WiseMen of Charleston, all seekers of knowledge of spiritual content. She shares her knowledge teaching at Bliss – a spiritual co-op. She has started and developed several businesses with the current ones being, Sparkling Beauties – custom crystal jewelry and pretties, Vision Manager – Business and Spiritual Coaching, Energy Healing at Healing Oasis – bringing light thru Aura Healing, Crystal Therapy, Life/DNA Activation, Guided Meditations. Learn more about Carmen, her teachings and therapies or arrange a consultation at: clgagnon1@yahoo.com Healingoasisllc.com