By: L. Shay Bradham
Sometimes Living Authentically Hurts
A few years ago I was approaching 50 and I realized that my life wasn’t going down a track I wanted to travel. (Far from the path I wanted, to be honest.) Not only that, but it was far from the path I wanted for my kiddos. I was miserable.
Since then I have built an entirely new life (same kiddos, though LOL). I was so incredibly happy that all of my kiddos decided to make the move with me (1000 miles North, to Boston) and go on this crazy adventure. I went through a divorce (my ex is a lot happier with his new wife — the divorce was a good thing for him, too!), packed up everything, sold my house, and drove off into the sunset — not entirely sure what my New Life would look like.
New career, new goals, new friends (although I do miss the friends I left behind), new sights, new experiences, and new travels. I have been able to break the negative cycles that surrounded me, and I truly believe it was because I was able to move so far away and shift out of the old patterns I followed (even patterns I may not have been fully aware of).
But sometimes…there is a cost.
There are people who won’t want you to change. They are comfortable with the way things are, and if you change, maybe they should change, too. They were okay with you being miserable because they are miserable.
Sometimes toxic people will lash out when you make changes.
And sometimes that hurts. A lot.
But you have to live authentically. You have to do what is best for you. You have to be the person that genuinely smiles back at you in the mirror.
As women, we often put everyone else first. We deny ourselves opportunities, make sacrifices, and put ourselves last because (let’s be honest) that’s what society says we should do. We live a life that others feel we should.
But I am giving you permission to put yourself first. I’m telling you it’s okay to live your life in a way that makes you happy, even if some people might be upset by it.
Because you deserve to be happy.
Lady bits is provided by L. Shay Bradham, a freelance writer, published author, coffee addict, and a Trekkie. She plays an impressive game of Klingon Monopoly. You can contact Shay at: LShayBradham@gmail.com