By: Beth Peterson – Affiliate/Community Communication
You don’t want it bad enough.
If you would just buckle down and work a little harder.
Maybe your priorities need to be reassessed.
It’s all about willpower, you just need more willpower.
Any of this sound familiar? I would wager that all of us are hearing a voice or two in our heads telling us that we need to just do more and try harder in some area. The end of the year brings reflection on what did or didn’t come to fruition and the start of a new year the hope of more, new, better, and stronger. All of which can feel heavy, carrying with it the need to add more to our mental and physical schedules in order to succeed. But what if it didn’t have to be that way? What if, in fact, we could change or strengthen any habit we want without adding, but instead subtracting?
James Clear, in Atomic Habits, speaks about reducing friction. “Before you try to increase your willpower, try to decrease the friction in your environment.” It’s not a new concept, but it is one that is easily dismissed in the hustle and bustle of our busy lives. It almost seems impossible to take something off the ever growing list and constricting schedule. What if, we didn’t have to do either? What if ease in accomplishing what we desire was just a matter of eliminating or adding steps that make it simply easier to accomplish?
Want to work out first thing in the morning because your afternoons are full? How many steps are there before you are out the door? Eliminate a few. What if your clothes were out on the dresser, hoes by the door, water and iPod already set? ALL of these things can be done during tasks you are already doing in the evening as you are settling your home for the night. I had a friend years ago that slept in her running clothes so all she had to do is stumble into her shoes!
Eliminating steps introduces a sense of ease to a new habit. How about dietary change? Have something you want to eat less of… chips and salsa, for instance and for no particular personal reason. Add steps. While you are already at the store, don’t buy them.
Not because you can’t have them. You can have them any time you want. You will just need to go get them when the urge arises. You would have to put on shoes, find keys, get in the car, drive through several lights of traffic, walk around the store, stand in line, walk back out to the car, back through the lights and traffic, and back into the house. How often do you think the craving would pass while you were in the process of putting on your shoes? Studies have shown over and over that food cravings only last 3-5 minutes. Adding steps gives your mind time to let the craving pass.
Picture, if you will, a pinball machine. The little shiny ball, lined up and ready to go. The road in front of it is straight and clear, yet as it rounds the top and begins its journey to the designated target, all bouncy, colorful, bell-ringing hell breaks loose. Suddenly the ball is bounced off of any number of colorful pegs or routed through misdirectional little mazes. All shifting its direction with no way of knowing if it will reach the destination until finally it breaks into a free fall and may or may not land in its intended spot. However… it does always find its way back to start shoot to do the whole thing all over again.
What if we imagined that adding friction to energize or weaken habits was the same as using a screwdriver to remove the pegs or add directional guards to the playing field that would guide that shiny little ball right where it needed to go with as little interruption as possible. How great would it be to be able to control the route the proverbial ball would take?
Oh. Wait. That’s the point of this little trip to the arcade. YOU CAN. And it is not about will power. It is about evaluating steps. Look at the habits you want and do not want and set the steps accordingly. You are already grocery shopping. Just decide what you take home as staples and get the rest as you are willing to make the effort to do so.
You are already cleaning up and closing down for the night. Just don’t put the newly washed shorts away. Leave them out for the morning. One more thing. Grace. Grace Grace. Always, ALWAYS, remember to treat yourself with grace. It takes time to create lasting change and to better our health and environment. Every single step gets you closer and is something to celebrate! YOU are something to celebrate and are in the perfect spot to take the first step to master any habit or change you choose.
So get that screwdriver and get to setting those pins, guards, bells, and whistles to launch your beautiful perfect self right where you want to go.
Beth is a single mom, empty nester, preacher’s kid, queen of hot flashes, cook, reader, lover of office supplies, sipper of wine, and now… Purveyor of Badassery and owner of Counter Talks w/Beth. After 2 divorces, 3 kids, years of single parenthood, said kids flying the coop, the real estate crash, and losing my mom, I am driven to make sure other women are not left feeling stagnant, alone or powerless. CounterTalks w/Beth combines my unfaltering belief in what is possible with my love of journaling, cooking, and entertaining. Giving my coaching, retreats, and events a unique twist. I provide a safe space and 4 habits that allow women of any age to ignite their power and move freely into their NEXT…and to eat, drink, and be badass along the way! www.countertalks.com