Fighting the demon of comparison

As one of five girls, in a house of eight children you would think I would have learned about comparison early in life, but I can proudly say I never heard the words, “why can’t you be more like….” from my parents. I was always a rather unique child and teen and expressed myself unlike most, learned differently than others and although filled with personality was often the butt of many jokes but comparison never entered the realm of my world. In fact, it wasn’t until age 18 at art school when I had my work compared to others in class that I really experienced the impact of comparison. At such a young age, having the best work I’d ever created to that point, compared to over 25 others, many who were over twice my age with more experience and being told that my work was substandard at best led me to feel like a failure and worthless.

Unfortunately, I gave up art school and kept those emotions through most of my life. In fact, I often found myself feeling unworthy of love, in and out of relationships, jobs and so forth which led to a lengthy life filled with many decisions of what I call “settling.”

It wasn’t until my singleness in my late forties, due to the termination of a twenty-five-year marriage relationship that I discovered and embraced my true unique self and qualities. It was during that self-discovery and independence, in my rescuing of myself, that I met my current husband. He witnessed something in me that was beginning to surface but had been buried and ashamed to come forth. He saw hope, passion, a creative spirit and intelligent mind. He encouraged me to start my businesses and share my gifts, talents and strengths with the world and every day makes it possible for me to do so. In addition to running my businesses I have embraced my true love of writing again and have written and self-published three more books available on Amazon and other online retailers as well as started this blog.

Please don’t think all is peaches and cream. Fact is, as an entrepreneur I face the comparison demon often. I hear his voice telling me I am not progressing as fast as others in my industry, that what I am doing is meaningless and is obsolete or has no purpose in today’s world, that I should be like so and so if I want to see bigger, better results. But it is through my tenacity, my pride in standing firm in my unique qualifications and my husband’s encouragement and support that I rise in full armor and fight that demon.

Girl, it’s time to focus on the sparkle. Stop, just stop comparing yourself to others. There is no one else like you in this world. No one that can do what you do the way you do it. No one that offers what you offer. You ARE enough and there is no need to settle for anything less than you deserve or bring anything less to the table than your true self. There may be other that appear to be like you, may even be doing what you do but rest assured, there is only ONE you. As Dr. Seuss so beautifully put it, “Today you are YOU, that is truer than true. There is no one alive, who is YOUER than YOU!” Remember, the world needs what you have. There is no one else that can bring what you have – but YOU! Embrace it! Be you and let the world catch up!

© c. michelle bryant

Michelle Bryant is an entrepreneur, nationally acclaimed award-winning artist, inspirational speaker, self-published author of five books available at most online retailers, a multi-award winning, published photographer whose work is nationally used for worldwide marketing campaigns and featured on various items including but not limited to apparel. She shines her light and speaks from her heart in an encouraging and transparent manner and offers a message of hope, healing, and victory to any who encounters her or her works. You can check out her multitude of works at: www.divinelyfocused.com.